A Few New Rules for Interacting with a Twin Caregiver

I hear a lot from other (usually young) mums how they would love to have twins. I laugh. I snicker.

Because, I know what they're thinking... Two babies, how sweet! Two cute little bums, awwww! Dressing them alike, how adorable!

But, I know the reality... Two babies, crying in the night. Two little bums, that get bigger and smellier every day. Dressing them alike, umm no. I get them confused enough as it is!

So the next time you see someone with twins, think before approaching ...

• How is their day going? Looks bad? Then don't ask, just help.
• Do they look tired? Get them a coffee or a glass of wine. Take a kid.
• Have they had to run after one while leaving another with another mum and sprint across meters to just catch the other by the arm today? Be that other mum.
• How many tantrums has your kid had today?.. Double that.
• How many times have you told your child 'no' today? Well triple that. Chances are one child gets told no, the other sees the attention the first twin is getting and tries it to get a reaction by doing the same exact thing and gets told no, first child does it again to see if it's just a random occurrence, or if he can get three out of three. His odds are good.
• How many pairs of socks has the twin mum had to pick up this morning? How many raisins or pieces of popcorn has the dog eaten? Too many.
• Is mum wearing makeup? A normal amount, she may be approachable. None, or WAY too much to cover the bags and dark circles under her eyes, do not approach, I REPEAT, DO NOT APPROACH.
• Never, ever say (men, you are the worst offenders of this) "Looks like you've got your hands full!" Let me just answer in a way that my mother used to answer those puzzling but obvious questions by say... No Shit Sherlock. Seriously? Smile and nod, smile and nod.

Ok. Now that's done, let me apologise. It's been a long couple of weeks and sometimes I just need to rant. Any other twin or non-twin parent will probably understand. All of this always happens within moments of each other, within an hour of going shopping or having not enough sleep.

I guess the important lesson here is don't feel like you have to chat to everyone that makes comments about those amazing bundles of joy sitting in the pram. There will be those days when you can't be bothered, the day has gone to shit, dinner isn't cooked, one kid will not sit in the pram without screaming and you just realised you haven't brushed your teeth. But then, amazingly there will be the days when you can't help but chatting up the elderly neighbour about how awesome these beasts are! It does happen! And it's that little pat on the back that can keep you going.

So, if I smile and nod at you, don't take it personally. Some days we just need to keep moving on...

X

 

 

These guys...

Lucky they are all so cute!

X

 

Strange food requests and so many new words!

The boys are getting more and more vocal everyday.

"Please"

"Thank you"

"Curry puff"

"Proper fluffy please" (Hendrik)

And I ask "What veggie would you like for lunch?" Willem says, "Lettuce please."

19 months. Crazy.

But I am shocked and amazed that somehow they have taken to eating salad! And requesting it on a regular basis. It's probably just a phase and they will hate it next week. But still pretty cool...

 

 

Life with twins..

 

Growing up..

Today was one of those days when you realise how fast it all goes. Today was filled with questions being asked and actually answered. It's so odd.

"What would you like?" "Snack."

"Would you like some water?" "No."

Hendrik especially has begun to become this very adventurous, curious, independent little man. During playgroup, he wanted to go off and see what was over "there", he came back holding a hand of another mum, looking above the tops of the heads of other kids sitting on the floor, sees me waving to him and smiles his big smile with dimple and all, and comes trotting over. He came over, flung his arms around me and gave me a huge cuddle. It almost made me cry..

Then in the afternoon we went to the Lyall Bay playground. It was a stunning day, so it was a no brainer. As soon as they saw the water, "OSHN!!" Yep. Ocean. Hendrik decided he was going to walk on his own to the playground, looks out over the wall to the beach and the waves, and decides that's where he wants to be. He keeps walking past the swings and slides and down to the beach.

After finding their footing on the sand and finding a couple of shells for Dad, Hendrik sits himself down in the sand. He sits, quiet and calm, watching the ocean, the waves and the surfers. Quiet and calm. The seagulls and the airplanes, taking it all in. Willem cuddles my shoulders asking about passing surfers and pointing to them in the waves.

It makes me so proud on days like these. Some days, I'm happy just to have survived. But these are the days that make this journey truly amazing.

Have a happy weekend!

X

 

The Hippie Ambitions of a Twin Mum - Part 1

When we found out we were pregnant, we were stoked. When we found out it was twins, we were scared. And to be honest, a little sad.

Let me explain. It's not as bad as it sounds. For me, I had my ideas and ideals already in my mind about how I wanted to bring a child into the world and raise a child. I wanted to have a water birth. Possibly at home. Meditation and calm during labour. Breastfeeding until the baby was at least two years old. Cloth nappies. Co-sleeping. All home grown and organic food. Making all of their clothes from NZ merino. The list goes on...

But when that "one" became "two", so much of that went out the window. Those ideals became un-achievables. That was the sad. A little heartbreak with the overwhelming joy.

The boys were born in hospital, in a bed that I couldn't move in, attached to so many beeping devices, there was no chance of getting my way there. But what I remember most days is NOT how I didn't have a water birth, or how I couldn't walk around and use gravity to ease the pain, I remember how lucky I am to have an amazing husband and two healthy boys.

So whilst my hippie, nature loving, eco dreams were somewhat crushed with the birth, there are so many things that you CAN do to still be an environmental friendly family. Even with crazy twin boys!

So we begin the journey with our tale of CLOTH NAPPIES!

Cloth nappies were going to be the go from even before we got pregnant. There were so many reasons why we wanted to go cloth - cost, environmentally friendly, and think about this - would you rather wear a soft cozy pair of undies or a crinkly, disposable paper undies? Hmmmm.. Yeah. Easy decision when you think about it that way, huh?!

There were so many choices and so many options when it comes to brands and styles. What we decided to use are considered pocket nappies. Basically, inserts and an adjustable shell with a pocket for the inserts. They clean up fairly easily and because you can separate all the parts, they dry relatively quickly. 

When you first look at the cost of investing, it can be quite daunting. They can go for about $20 per nappy. And when you have twins, that gets really expensive really fast! 

So with that in mind, I decided buying used nappies might be the way to go. Yeah, I know, it sounds gross. Someone else's kids used these before my boys... But how many times have they been washed and hung in the sun... After some convincing, it was exactly what we decided to do. It ended up costing us about $6 per nappy including inserts. Amazing! 

We ended up with a mix of two brands, Baby Cheeks and PeaPods. The boys have been wearing the Baby Cheeks since they were about 3 months old. The PeaPods we ended up with were larges, so they have just started fitting into them. And between the these two brands, I really like the PeaPods! They have foldable bamboo inserts that work really well! They are a nice simple design and feel quite soft and stretchy. They can wear the PeaPods for naps and not leak, which is good. 

For overnight though, we do put them in disposables. Mostly huggies. But again, because somehow, someway, these boys are prolific wee'ers... They wear a cloth nappy over their disposables at night. It's worth it. They never wake up at night from wet pyjamas anymore! What a hassle that used to be! 

Here are a few tips and bits and pieces that we have learned so far :

Getting rid of the poo : This is Jacob's favourite job! But for some reason we is extremely keen to share this job with me whenever possible... It's gross. Really gross. But the best tool I've found - an old heavy duty rubber spatula! You can scrape off even the worst poo-tasophe with a good one. 

Washing nappies : Be prepared to do a lot of laundry. And by this I mean A LOT of laundry. I have a load of nappies go through the wash about every other day. This is in addition to the normal day to day laundry. My life has become "never ending laaaaun-dryyyyyy".. Sing it with me... La da da la da da la da dahhh. 

I hate sunshine : Actually I lie, I love sunshine! (and you can never quote your favourite Disney movie too much) Nappies and inserts love sunshine too! Especially New Zealand sunshine, nothing like a lack of ozone to bleach out your clothes naturally! Whenever it's possible, they hang outside on the line soaking in the sun and being blow around by the our lovely Wellington wind.

Tea tree oil : A drop or two once in a while in a rinse cycle is great! Tea tree, as you may know, has antiseptic properties and it makes everything smell a bit nicer.

Speaking of the smell : Cloth nappies will be smelly sometimes. After a little while, wee soaked nappies can make your stomach turn. I find this happens when the weather isn't great and hanging them outside is nearly impossible. If your nappies aren't drying fast enough, trying popping the inserts into a dryer on a hot heat and the outers on an airing cycle in the dryer or hung in a room with a dehumidifier. Always check the washing label first before you use a dryer! The plastic backing can shrink and pull away from the nappy, completely ruining the nappy.. Trust me on this one, I've lost about 4 or 5 this way.

Liners : We were using liners for a while but gave them up. I can see why they promise longer life for your nappies, and while many brands claim to be flushable and biodegradable, they clog up our 100 year old plumbing. When you have to scrape poo off double the nappies, everything needs to be streamlined as well as possible. Liners were just making everything just that bit more difficult. 

Wipes : I just recently started using cloth wipes at home as well! I went out to the local recycle shop, picked up an old polar fleece blanket for $3, gave it a nice hot wash and dry and cut it into squares. That's it! No hemming, no edging, and because polar fleece is soft and cleans up so easily, I'm a little mad at myself for not doing this before! We still use biodegradable store-bought wipes when we are out and about, but heaps less than we have been. 

I'd love to hear from everyone else fighting to pooey battle in cloth! What are your best tips and tricks?? What type of nappies are you using?? 

x

Suffering for their Art

Some time last year, when the boys and I went to a regular learning playgroup, they had their first go with paints. I was so excited! I imagined them being fascinated, still, natural artists. I watched the other new mums with their 9 month old babies having these beautiful bonding moments over the one thing I looked forward to, almost more than anything. 

Immediately the reality and stress set in. 

While I had Hendrik, someone took Willem, who eventually started to panic and was not a happy camper. So I took Willem, someone else took Hendrik and then Hendrik proceed to try and eat as much paint as possible. 

He was rather upset as you can see. 

I was gutted. I went home in tears and had another cry later that night. Somethings never quite go as planned. Or hoped. Or imagined. This was one of the many moments that went on the list of - "If there was only one". I'm sure other twin/multiple parents have this list. It's sort of a sad list. It's a hard list to forget. There have been many things added to it so far. 

Co-sleeping. 

Breastfeeding.

Easy trips around town.

More art time.

More nudey bum time. 

Regular walks on the beach.

Coffee dates.

It goes on.

But as I've had to deal with a lot of things I've never imagined, I've learnt to work around it. Since this time, we've had quiet reading time with both boys on my lap. Trips around town, coffee dates, things like that. It'll all work out in the end. And yes, we even have art time. Of course restrained to high chairs and washable markers, but it's awesome. 

I know someday that list will be tossed out as the list of  - "So Cool, because there's TWO!" finally begins to gain momentum. I love this list!

Stay positive! It happens, slowly, but it does happen!

Have a great weekend!!!

xoxo

It's Fluffy Time!

The boys are still slowly learning how to use their cups and dishes and utensils properly. It's messy business. But great for some sunny time spent outside.

First Birthday, done.

What a day! Thank you so much EVERYONE that came - near and far!! X

The Birthday Boys

There are heaps more photos....

ONE!

How is it even possible that a year has gone by so quickly? To be honest, I barely remember the first six month after these little men came into our lives. It is a complete blur. And even now, with more lack of sleep and teething and constant changes in the wings, the blur continues...

But one year! So many adventures, so many highs and lows, so many lovely moments that make me cry with happiness when I think back to them. It is so amazing how much I fiercely love both of those little men.

Our lives will never ever be the same!

 

Willem

Hendrik

Thank you everyone who has helped us get through this crazy first year! It's true that it takes a village to raise a child...

And two countries to raise twins!

XO

My moment of greatest today...

Everyday is a challenge with twins, but I try and have at least one good thing to look back and say... "Woooo! I did _________ today!"

Today, after a big morning of playgroup, shopping, lunch with Jacob, the boys promptly fell asleep in the car on the way home.

Somehow, I managed to get them both out of the car, Hendrik into the front pack, Willem curled up in my arms and made it down 72 step home, into their cots, still asleep!

Seriously. Shoes still on and all.

Tomorrow's moment of greatness...

THEY TURN ONE!

I may cry.

X

It's been a week of..

Over a week has gone by since Bruce moved in with his new family. I chatted with them Friday and it sounds like he is doing well. We are all having to adjust I guess. Timmy has been a slightly different dog since Bruce left. I think he's just happy to be the only-dog-child. For example, we all went to pick up Jacob from work, me, the boys and Timmy. Timmy walked with us slowly up the steps, off lead, followed us to the car and happily jumped into the boot. I don't think he would have done that if Bruce was tagging along. It's an adjustment, but we are getting on slowly.

It's also been a week of Willem crawling! He's taken a few days to get the hang of it, but is rocketing around the house now. Now that he's moving as well, he's been following Hendrik from room to room, Hendrik's little shadow. But they are starting to play together which is awesome! I've been sneaking in on them playing and chatting to each other, kicking their feet in sync to crazy little tunes on their toys.

Strangely, with only one dog and the boys keeping themselves busy, I'm actually finding time to do things around the house and finishing them! Cooking has stepped up a notch! I'm loving it more than ever. Mexican pumpkin soup, potato and onion frittata, and my new love it bread making!

Well, more on that soon!

X

 

Nine. Months. Seriously???

Unreal. Time is just flying by! Yesterday, I had the amazing privilege of holding wee little Lewis, just over a week old. He's newest addition to the already lovely Burns' family (love you guys!) and it was the first time holding a baby younger than our boys since they were born. I almost cried! Not for being clucky, but I barely remember our big guys ever being that small! Just so tiny and helpless... Wow...

It's such a different story now. Our once wee boys are turning into such little men. Yesterday, afternoon we spent a bit of time sitting on a blanket, in the sunshine, watching their Dad trimming a few trees around the house. There they sat in their sun hats, clapping and crawling, giggling and keeping a keen eye on the local tuis. It's so cool to see them change so much in such a little amount of time.

I can honestly say, this has been THE most difficult thing I have ever done. EVER. I know that, yeah, someday it will get easier, someday I may regain a sliver of sanity, maybe catch up on sleep, but for now we go on day to day, just scraping by, just surviving. Everyone said it would be hard, no one said it would be easy. But not one person ever actually warns you of, sadly, how much you're going suffer. All completely worth it, don't get me wrong. But be prepared to suffer and be tested at ever single turn.

Hendrik on the move.

 

With Hendrik now commando crawling, and Willem not too far off, I'm starting to feel a sense of relief. But I'm sure that won't last. They'll soon go from crawling to walking to running - in completely different directions I'm sure.

Duets with Willem

Our wee mover and shaker, Hendrik

 

In all of this chaos, one of the most rewarding things at the moment is food. They love it. They can't get enough of it and will scream at you until they are completely satisfied. I must say, baby led weaning is the way to go! Well, for us at least. I love watching them try new foods. Textures, hot, cold, flavours, they are curious about it all!

Some of their favourites are omelettes with spinach, parsley, and cheese. Chicken and pesto. Peas with mint and ricotta. Kiwi fruit. Mandarins. Oranges. Garlic hummus. Porridge. Greek yogurt. Apples. Roasted chips. Fruit bread. BBQ chicken and BBQ pineapple. The list goes on...

 

So, this bread, (yummo) was based off of this recipe from a great blog. We switched it up a little bit since strawberries aren't quite in season here, but a cup of frozen raspberries, strawberries, and blackberries did the trick. It bakes up quite nicely. Because we have a fan-forced oven, foil over the top of a perfectly browned bread helped it not to burn. The boys loved it. I loved it. Win win!

 

As our little nuggets become their own people, I love seeing all of those things that people say twins do. They are becoming good little playmates. They are babbling amongst themselves when I'm not in the room. They sing together. They cry together, which is a killer for me and appropriate of an entire blog post all it's own. And while, they are stealing each other's toys, they are also starting to pass them back and forth to each other. It's pretty damn cool.

On that note. I'm keen to start writing about a lot of our experiences with the boys. Pregnancy, feeding, sleep, dealing with stress, marriage, etc. Twins affects everyone differently. There are a lot of books and a lot of other blogs and websites about it all, but I think it's good to gather as much information as you possibly can in the early days. So for my therapy, and so other people can take what's worked for us and what's not... Consider this my challenge.

Happy 9 months, my dear darling boys, Hendrik and Willem... xx

A lovely Sunday with my wee boys!

What a lovely day.

While Jacob built an amazing new garden bed (in ONE DAY!!! Photos soon I hope!) and I actually got to do something that I've been wanting to do for ages... Take photos of the boys! I know I have a damn good excuse, but feel pretty slack for not taking as many photos as I hoped I would.

After doing this today, I think a day in the life of editorial is in order!

 

Happy Spring!

 

First BBQ of the season!

Well, the weather was warmer for about 2 days and hopes for an early spring warmed the hearts of all of us here in Wellington, then reality struck. The temp has dropped back down to a lovely 3C overnight. Oh well.

I finally feel like life is slowly coming back into control. Our boys are sleeping through the night, sometimes. But for the first time in 9 months, maybe longer including pregnancy, have I felt somewhat human again! Amazing what 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep can do for the soul...

We've had quite a journey the last year. We've made it this far, amazingly, just by doing what every other new parent in history has done - winging it! Yes, research helped. Books, chatting to other parents, classes (some that paid off in the long run, some not) but most of the time we just go with our gut. You figure out what's best for them as you go. And as we didn't have any children before these two and didn't have ANY prior experience, sometimes you question yourself, which is probably the worst mistake.

But for now, here is to surviving the winter and looking forward to seeing more tulips in our yard along with warmer sunny days. Hello Spring!